I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize