Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
