at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
