so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
