just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
