i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
