Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
