Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
