You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize