Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
only if we run a train.
done.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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