Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
