I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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