how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
NoShamevember. You game?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
