I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
