Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
