I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
you never un-have a 4some
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize