very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
