I just saw a hot homeless man
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
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How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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