Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
