Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
