Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
