what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
