Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
