before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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