found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
farters have to be the big spoon...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
