I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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