i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
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