he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
