I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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