Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I have tasted many bathrooms
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
