i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
