I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
