at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
