She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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