why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
