yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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