Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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