I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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