we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
