How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
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I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
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I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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