haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize