Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
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I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
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