We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
