i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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