Where is the hickey?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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