i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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