Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
