im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
do herpes really smell.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
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Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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