You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
