my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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