he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
MIDGETS
????
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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