oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
