Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
