She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
