If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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