tell your sister to shave her snatch
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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