He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
