When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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