Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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