just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
