My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize