Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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