these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
