can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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