I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
