You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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