i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
